Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops