What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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like if u think princess kenny id the fairest maiden in all the land. if u havent played or watched pewdiepie play south park the stick of truth, disregard this message.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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