A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops