How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

* two sisters are making yo mama jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

Gus's mom

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...