Wanna hear a joke? no

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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