Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

What's 1+1? 69.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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