So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a serial-rapist with links to the Black Dragon triad. Yee.

Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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