yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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