Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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Ok so there were 2 white dudes telling black jokes...so one of the white dudes tells a joke to the other... 1st dude: what's brown and tall? 2nd dude: a tree 1st dude: no that scary black man who looks like he wants to beat us up.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

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what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

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Why did the blonde get a tattoo of her adress on her arm? She never wanted to forget her great childhood at her family home, and she hoped that she would come back some day.

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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