- Anti Joke

Q: Whats Worse Than 21 Dead Babies in a Trashbag? A: 1 Dead Baby In 21 Trashbags.

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

A giant storm loomed over a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who has been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

Eric is gay Ha

Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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