KNOCK KNOCK WHOSE THERE? AVOCADO AVOCADO WHO AVOCADO COLD THAT'S A RETARD JOKE HAHAHAHAHA GOOD 1

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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I'm tired.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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