Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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womens rights.

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I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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