Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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Pickle

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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Hellen Keller went to town a ridin on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it.. ashhlerthurbujahustar.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

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Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

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Who was the best Call of Duty World at War Player? A: Hitler he had 6 million kills and only 1 death

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops