If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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What did enzo give courtney for her 69th birthday? A cake that looked like a pussy cat named kyle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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