Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

thumb_up thumb_down +13

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +13

ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops