Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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black people swimming

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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haha

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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Whats two plus two Four!

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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