Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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95556

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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