what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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why is stu taking so long to post a joke because he is autistic

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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YOU

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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