Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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