How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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A hill billy went fishing

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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