What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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