A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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I had a submarine.... once

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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