What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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Charlie Sheen

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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i hate non minorities!

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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