Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

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the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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