A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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knock knock who's there? faith

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops