A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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The 80's called. They need their couch back.

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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9/11

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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I am hot he is not can you beleive it I got shot

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you pick up 10 students from a school, you buy a pish from the fet store, and then drive to new york whos driving the bus? a fat guy with a level 80 org in world of warcraft

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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