Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

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All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops