Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Beacuse he got kicked out of the bar

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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What's worse than Monkey Ball? Super Monkey Ball. What's worse than Super Monkey Ball? The Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops