If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

What is life? Paul.

What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

If a man dies in China, Does anybody care?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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