What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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