I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A boy walks to the bark and on his way he sees two individuals having sex in a car. He runs home and asks hios mother what he saw. She responds vinny is an enormous dork

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

a disabled man takes a walk in a park

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the man say to his doctor?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your at a racism seminar. You learn not to call black people the n word but you know they really deserve it

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops