3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

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What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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Hey, do you wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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