Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

Ok everyone, you know that kid that after his joke he'll put louis on the bottom because that's his name? He sucks at joke telling and if you see any of his jokes, DISLIKE THEM!

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? Now he is dead..

Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

knock knock come in !

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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