Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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Andoni was here

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Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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