How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

During a boxing match, a white man faces an Asian. The Asian loses. Next the white man faces a Mexican. The Mexican also loses. Now the white man faces a black man. "Aw screw it!"

A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car, who's driving? Their father Micheal, he adopted both of them from a mentally handicapped orphanage when they were five.

what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

one stop shop

Why did the chicken cross the mobia strip? To get to the same side!

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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