An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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What did the murderer do after killing the family? he went to jail.

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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