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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

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You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

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In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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