Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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What is the difference?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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