Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

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knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

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Worms don't like apples.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but so

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Q: Whats worse than finding 10 babies in a trash can? A: Finding 1 baby in 10 trash cans!

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what would u di if u were having anal sex with a black guy and his dick was soooo bi that ir rippped ur asshole? staple it back together

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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