A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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Hellen keller

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What did the vegitarian order for brunch. VEGITARIANS DONT BELIEVE IN ICE CREAM>

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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How does Steven Hawkings refresh after a long day of work? F5

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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