Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops