Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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u know whats a crime? rape

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Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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you will like this because i am black.

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

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what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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