What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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What do u call a ginger man with no ears? What ever the hell u want Because he's deaf

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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