What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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