What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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A Black Man Walks Into an Office For A Job Interview. The Meeting Goes Very And He Soon Has A Very Nice Steady Job.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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