What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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