If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops