A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

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A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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One, two, three, four and five

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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E M I L Y L Y N C H B I L L I E J E A N L A R K I N YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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