How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops