Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops