You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Chris Bosh's neck

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why did the chicken cross the road? He saw his family getting murdered and tried to stop it but got hit in the process

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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How many nipples are on a raccoon ? I don't raccoono

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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eh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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