human centipede

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My Mom was strutting down the runway. Then she got trampled by a plane.

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

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Granny porn!

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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