Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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good looking women

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You know what helps with back pain? If you lick my butt hole.

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What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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How do you make a pool table laugh? You cant it is'nt a living thing which means emotions.

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

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Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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