Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

thumb_up thumb_down -1

kathryn atkins

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -1

One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Cole likes to trim jaycie's butt pubes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

thumb_up thumb_down -3

yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops