What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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ugvvvvvv

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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How do you make a clown frown Throw an axe at his face.

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A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

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Why did the man stop playing his computer game? The SWAT busted down his door and quickly pinned him down and arrested him for the murder of 7 families, he was charged for life in prison.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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