Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Frontbut-

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the leading cause of death Life.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

4501 3346 1687 2292 david0209. never do this.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops