Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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women's rights

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Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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Here come the elephants over the hill!

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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What's worse then 2 dead monkeys? 3 dead monkeys!

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops